Inspirational?

Lately, I've had a lot of people tell me how inspirational I am to them. I simply smile and thank them. While I do want to inspire and influence people in a positive way, I've had a difficult time hearing that I am considered "inspiring" to some. There seems to be a gap between my expectations and reality. It wasn't until recently that I became very self conscious of the fact that I am the only one in a wheelchair in all the Zumba classes I attend. 

Whenever I walk into a class, I get looks from others. Maybe because I always stand in the front (more on that later). It's almost as though they're thinking, "Oh, she's gonna try Zumba." Once class starts and they realize I'm able to keep up with not only them, but the instructor, I'm no longer their focus. After class, a few will come up and compliment me.

The truth is that I'm there to exercise like they are, I just happen to do it sitting down. Being disabled, overweight or both, in my case, does not exempt you from needing to work out. It's taken me years to remember that. The topic of motivation is also often brought to my attention. "I wish I had your motivation," is a common phrase I hear. If seeing me work out despite my disability motivates you, great. However to me, it sounds more like, "Aw, look at you making the effort." I guarantee that if I were able-bodied, no one would give me a second look. 

That brings me back to why I stand in the front in my Zumba classes. The first reason is obviously so I can see the instructor. It's difficult to see from a seated position when you have people standing in front of you. The other reason, as I've mentioned in a previous blog post, is due to my Cerebral Palsy. Visual cues are extremely important. My brain takes a few seconds longer than most to process things. That can be extremely challenging in class.

So there I am in the front of the class while able-bodied people, who are regulars, stand in the back. There's plenty of room. Why not stand in the front? Then there are the people who simply just give up. I didn't give up during my first class, nor have I given up since. My arms have to do twice the work because I'm not using my feet as much as everyone else, which means barely being able to move them after class most of the time.

At the age of 8, I looked at my mother and told her that I was put on this earth to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. I'm here to show others that sitting down or standing up, nothing is going to stop me.

I can and I will accomplish everything I set my mind to.